“Who better to write a review of The Simpsons Movie than you, their single-biggest freaking fan?!?!” – Susan, my lovely, if hyperbole-prone, wife.

We did indeed see The Simpsons Movie this weekend, as you probably all supposed we would. Susan and I caught a 4:00 p.m. showing on opening day (yes, it was a Friday, but we went from my company outing, on what was probably the hottest day of the year so far, and there’s only so much time you can spend on the driving range or playing mini-golf in the blazing sunshine on the opening day of the movie that they’ve been promising they’d make for, like, A FREAKIN’ DECADE), and, frankly, I would like to know why the parking lot of a movie theater was full at midday on a Friday. Why weren’t these people working? And no, I feel no shame in asking that question because I just told you that I came from my company outing. Keep up!!

In the air-conditioned, stadium-seated darkness of late afternoon, we finally got to see the 87 minutes we’d been promised for so long. I remember rumors during college that they were working on a live-action movie version (I also remember talk of a live-action Fat Albert at the time, but the characters were supposed to be played by foul-mouthed and frightening gangsta’-types, presumably to update the junkyard/ghetto locales of the original cartoon. Needless to say, Dr. Cosby would never let something like that happen. Bless him.) which would have been just too grotesque. Later, it was to keep its animated format, but it was continuously pushed back until I finally gave up on the very idea. Looking back on that waiting period now, and considering how long it takes them to cough up each subsequent season on DVD, I’m surprised they only took 20 years for a movie.

Now, I realize that you are all on tenterhooks, anxiously awaiting my benediction or condemnation of the aforementioned cinematic effort. I, who have plagued you all with endless quotes from the TV show for years, drawing mind-numbing parallels to storylines from every conceivable situation, be it actual, theoretical, or non-sequiturial (it’s a word now. It is. Don’t shake your head.) “What will Joel say about it,” you’re asking, “what could possibly live up to twenty years of hype? Is it doomed from the outset? Will this film, after all this time, finally SHUT JOEL UP!?!?”

I’m not sure.

Yes, yes, anguished groans aside, I’m still trying to decide what I think of the whole thing. I can tell you all this, though. It’s really funny!! Susan reminded me that I laughed out loud through most of it – because, in my dotage, I need reminding of my own actions. There are some wonderful sight gags that just seem to go on forever, like Bart’s naked skateboard ride to Krustyburger. But there are also the pregnant pauses and silent facial expressions that are, in my mind, some of the bravest and funniest moments for their willingness to trust the audience with subtlety. Remember subtlety? Do you remember the last time a TV producer didn’t treat you like an idiot? But I digress.

There are also heartbreaking moments that actually had Susan and I choked up, such as those dealing with Bart’s need for a stable father, and Marge’s struggle to continue overlooking Homer’s selfishness. Now, I’m only going to note here our culture’s continued treatment of men, as I once heard it so succinctly put, as either derelict, delinquent, drunk, or dangerous, and spare you all by not making an entire post about it. Instead, I’ll point out the wonderfully surprising thing about these storylines, which is that Homer’s faults and failings are directly contrasted with Ned, whose patient, loving, understanding presence and fatherly example are a startlingly unironic portrait of a Godly man. The writers seemed to decide, at least for this short time, to let go of the faint-hearted, cowering prude that we normally find on TV, and make Ned, imperfect though he is, the kind of man that the goth-type fellow movie attendee/fanatic I spoke to in the hall afterward felt compelled to praise before anything else. Of all the great and hilarious moments in this so-very-long-awaited movie, this young man in the Nu-Metal tee shirt really wanted to tell me what a wonderful dad he thought Ned was. I have to agree, and am blissfully encouraged in doing so.

As regards the Environmental plot (a potential sticking-point with me, you can imagine), it’s silly enough to be unrealistic and non-allegorical, so it’s not the finger-wagging sermon it could have been. There are all sorts of political messages to be drawn, but they are so intertwined and equal opportunity between the left and right that it’s easy to let them slip under the radar and not draw contemporary parallels. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. I didn’t feel bad allowing myself to enjoy the movie. Usually I’d feel like a sucker, my inner critic shrieking that I’m a fool to let my defenses down. I’ll tentatively admit, without giving up my convictions, that I truly enjoyed the story.

In all, the movie didn’t feel like it was trying to incorporate every single aspect of the series, but rather act as an extended episode. It’s not the first time that the entire town was imperiled, nor that Homer saves the day (after instigating the events from which the town needs saving, naturally), but it was a terrifically animated, brilliantly written and beautifully executed movie involving the town we feel like we’ve known most of our lives. It’s not the ultimate wrap-up to an historically long series. It’s just the…

Best. Episode. Ever.